Are You Dowry Positive

| 07/08/2020 | 0 Comments

Dowry system makes it necessary for a bride’s family to give dowry in cash or kind to the groom’s family as a pre-condition for marriage. After marriage, some families demand more dowry and when it is not fulfilled- either because of the inability of the bride’s family or the denial of the bride herself- the groom and his family abuse and kill the bride.

A young 27 year old PhD scholar committed suicide because her in-laws were not okay with her continuing studies. A flight attendant Anissa Batra who jumped off her terrace, her parents say, was tortured emotionally for dowry. India has an alarming trend that sees 20 women die every day as a result of harassment over dowry – either murdered, or compelled to commit suicide. Why is the dowry system still a threatening reality? Why do we value a woman’s life around the amount of gold she brings in dowry?  Questions like these need to be raised again and again.

According to the latest National Crime Records Bureau report, the largest number of cases of crimes against women are reported under “cruelty by husband, or his relatives”. A total number of 1,10,378 such cases were reported in 2016. Krishna was yet another woman who was murdered by her husband and his family because apparently some of her dowry payment was pending.

Do you know the rate of dowry deaths in India? Every hour, at least one woman becomes a victim of dowry death, and the annual figures go well above 8,000 deaths. Most shockingly, several cases are not reported, and as per experts, the actual death figures could well be 3 or 4 times the official statistics.

DOWRY affects different people in different ways. Most infected people will develop mild to moderate illness and the recovery chances have been very dismal.

Most common symptoms:

  • Fever for jewelry, Assets, Vehicles and Home Appliances
  • Dry thoughts for materialistic items.
  • Tiredness for insufficient dowry

Less common symptoms:

  • Aches and pains for dowry
  • Sore throat whenever the topic of marriage arises
  • Headache and loss of taste or smell without the required dowry gifts.

Serious symptoms:

  • Difficulty breathing if the required gold or cash is not given
  • Chest pain or pressure until the dowry is given.


The dowry system has spread globally. Despite Dowry Prohibition Act, enacted on May 1, 1961 following strict measures to prevent the giving or receiving of dowry it has been impossible to contain this system from spreading.

Who is a silent carrier and what are the types of carriers?

Some of the evidences of silent carriers for demanding, accepting or giving dowry are as follows:

Parents of a Daughter:

  • We will give our daughter whatever is the norm.
  • God has blessed us a lot and we would like to give as much to our daughter.
  • We have to give dowry so that our daughter stays at in-laws happily.
  • If we do not give dowry, we will have no respect in the Society.
  • We have to give dowry or else our daughter will have to suffer life-long with all the taunting and harassment at the in-laws.


  • I don’t care how you do it; I need the same things as that was given to my other sisters.
  • Do you want me to be harassed, humiliated or burnt by the in-laws? Give me like what any parents give to their daughters.

Parents of a Son:

  • We have spent so much for the education and upbringing of our son. We ought to get it back.
  • Our son is not illiterate or unemployed. He is highly educated and well settled. He should get very good offers (dowry).
  • We have to maintain our status in the Society. What will people think if we do not accept dowry.


  • All my friends are well settled as they got huge dowries. Why shouldn’t I demand?
  • I will not be respected in the Society and people will doubt about me if I do not demand or accept dowry.




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Category: Marital Awareness

About the Author (Author Profile)

Fayaz Pasha is from Bangalore, India. He is an Author, a certified Life Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, a blogger and a Toastmaster.

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